So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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