He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
