How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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