I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
