I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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