I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
