When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
