there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
