This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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