I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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