I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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