yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're a waste of cheezeits
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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