she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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