i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
