One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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