No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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