Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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