trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
