Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize