honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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