If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
