and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
