Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
