Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
