Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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