Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
