Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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