I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
