You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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