you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
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It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize