I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
