Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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