so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Houston, we have a squirter
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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