he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
