Just fell off a train. Bad.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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