His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
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You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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