There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize