In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
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I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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