Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
