Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize