The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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