Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
