at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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