he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize