you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
