just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need water and some morals
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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