He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize