Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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