Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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