Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
