I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Randomize