I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
