Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
